What does asking for help feel like for you?
Asking for help can be one of the hardest things for healers, teachers and coaches to do. They are such givers and often take on the weight of the world.
The have no issue with stepping up and helping others, but for some reason they struggle to ask for and to receive help when they need it most.
The energy of always giving and never receiving can often be the cause of us not welcoming a steady flow of clients into our business.
In this post, I explore how you can get into a place where you can not only be willing to ask for help, but you will be able to receive it willingly and without any guilt attached to it.
Hello, beautiful people, my name’s Lynda Gaiao and this is the fourth part in a series where I have been talking about underlying issues which are ultimately energetic causes for us not bringing in a steady flow of clients into our businesses.
As someone who is a natural giver, someone who loves to help, someone who naturally wants to serve others, we can get into an unhealthy energy exchange where we always end up doing things by ourselves because we struggle to ask for help.
When I ask clients about how they feel when someone they know asks them for help. How do they respond? Do they feel irritated or resistant to wanting to help them? The inevitable answer is – NO. And this is because they are natural givers. They always step up to the plate and will most often drop everything that’s going on in their own life so that they can help this other person. They do it willingly and they give this beautiful energy to the other person.
The issue comes in when we try to reverse this. When you really need help. When you are in a space in your life where you need to ask for help. What seems to happen here, is that you just don’t feel good about accepting help.
The most common emotion that surfaces around the thought of asking for and accepting help is GUILT.
- Firstly, and you feel guilty that you even need to ask for help.
- You feel guilty that you are in a space where you can’t do things for yourself.
- You feel guilty that when you ask for help you are going to be putting people out in some way or another.
- You feel guilty that if you need help what does it say about you serving and helping other people.
There is this idea that you should be serving them, you should be okay to help them – but, not needing help yourself.
Both the act of not asking for and receiving help as well as the emotion of guilt carry with them a blocking energy. A blocking energy that does not allow things to come into your life. Including the clients that you want.
Over the next few weeks you may want to start thinking about:
- What can you get help with?
- What do you really need help with?
In the three previous episodes of this series, I spoke about (1) having a really busy schedule.
Having a busy schedule often means that:
- We haven’t stepped up and asked for help.
- We have stepped into a “I can do everything” space,
- And, ultimately, we end up feeling depleted because we don’t actually ask for help we need it. You need to get all of the tasks of your day-to-day life out there and look at those and ask yourself: Where could I actually get help from other people?
- Which of these tasks can a delegate?
- What can I shift on to other people?
I also spoke about (2) the willingness to receive.
If you haven’t spent time really connecting into your inner self and actually getting into a receiving mode it’s going to be really hard to receive help from other people.
The third area I spoke about is the direct correlation between taking the time to put yourself first and do things just for you, and how this allows you to be in a receiving mode.
If you’ve address all three of these areas, then getting into a place where you are ready to ask for help can be a lot easier. If you haven’t listened to the previous episodes, then I would encourage you to go and check them out.
Going back to asking for help:
Start by identify the tasks that feel you could ask for help with, perhaps starting with the smallest and the easiest ones.
In the act of asking for help what we are wanting to do, is to take something that’s on the subconscious, on an energetic level and bring it to the surface so we can start becoming aware of and notice how we react and how we respond to different things.
For example, if we have a small thing that we need help with. We’ve decided that we going to ask for help with. We’ve recognised somebody who we feel can help. We need to get to the point of actually asking for help and notice if any resistance, any sidestepping surfaces. Or if you just rationalise with yourself saying that you will just quickly get this done because, your pretty sure you fit it in. These are the things we want to notice as it is precisely these things that will keep us out of the space of receiving and asking for help.
Then, if you are able to step up and actually ask for help, I want to notice how it feels to be on the receiving end. Are you able to graciously accept and allow that energy to flow in? Are you able to really feel how beautiful it is to receive help? Can you allow yourself to feel how amazing it feels? Or, do you feel uncomfortable about having someone help you? These are things we want to notice. These are things we want to become aware of. If we don’t have that receiving energy, if we don’t allow that receiving energy to come in, if we don’t accept that receiving energy into our space, how can we accept new clients? How can we except the energy of new flow into our space? It’s all about becoming aware of and getting to the space where we can not only ask for help but we can receive it to?
One of the tips here that might help you is: enlist the people that you deeply care about, those people that support you, to help you. Start by sharing with them those things that you are really struggling with and then ask them if there is any way that they could help you. Then ask them to give you suggestions of how they think they could help you, rather than you telling them what to do. Allow them to step into supporting you. In this way they will bring their own helping and serving energy to you in a way that feels authentic for them. Rather than them feeling pre-scripted into helping you in a way that may not work for them.
In connecting in this way, it will allow the two of you to meet in this beautiful space of asking and receiving. With them giving and you’re receiving.
Enlisting people around you to really support you in your journey is so important. We are a social species, we are community’s species and we’re here to help and support one another.
If you are always supporting others but never receive support, it will ultimately affect you. And, at some point you’ll be left feeling depleted and your energy be really low. Rather step up now and ask for what you need and be willing to receive and accept into your life.
If you have any stories to share or things to tell me about how you’ve reached a place where you are comfortable with other people helping you. How you’ve been able to accept help, then I would love to hear them. Please feel free to share those with me.
It’s been my absolute honour to have a chat with you today.
My name is Lynda Gaiao, continue connecting to your heart and hearing the messages of your soul.