Hello, gorgeous people. My name is Lynda Gaiao and I am a psychic healer and a soulful business Coach, mentor and facilitator.
This is part three of a four-part series where we are looking into energy practices that are uplifting, rejuvenating and replenishing and therefore bring abundance into our lives personally and into our soulful businesses.
In today’s episode we are going to be investigating boundaries.
Boundaries are something that comes up quite frequently, when working my clients, both during coaching and healing sessions.
(Watch the video, or read on…)
I get shown a sign by spirit which looks like a cross. Whenever I see this sign come up I know that the person I’m working with needs to look at their boundaries and connect into what their boundaries are.
From one perspective when you look at boundaries you might think that it’s restrictive or that it’s exclusive. Perhaps even locking some people out of your space. However, what I would like you to at least play with in terms of a new perspective is thinking of boundaries as creating a space for the divine expression of you to come out and play. I like a beautiful magical butterfly that needs its space to spread its wings. Boundaries, to me provide you with that space.
Really healthy boundaries not only benefit you and allow you to express your divine potential they encourage others to do the same.
As I work with energy I notice that when people don’t have healthy boundaries, one of the things that starts happening is what I call energy entanglement. This is where you aren’t aware of your own energy and you don’t have healthy boundaries. This leads to other people’s energy slipping into your immediate space and it ends up entangling with your energy. When we get an energy entanglement in this way it can be really confusing.
Our usual ability to connect to our intuition or to be guided can seem really cloudy.
Instead of having a lightness of energy we might feel really bogged down, or like we are walking through a thick fog. This happens when we’ve allowed someone else’s energy, someone else’s stuff to sit on top of us, in our energy field.
When we are unaware, we think it’s our stuff. We think it’s our energy so end up getting into this mental story. We start labelling what’s going on in our energy field with our thoughts. We assume what is happening is ours and, so we begin to create a mental, negative thought loop around that. We are feeling this weird feeling, so it must be mine – how can I relate this, how can I attach this to something to make it makes sense for me. By doing that you kind of end up owning, or attaching to energy that’s not even yours in the first-place.
This is why having really healthy energy boundaries is so important.
One of the other things to mention here is that when we don’t have healthy boundaries this entanglement that happens can be extremely overwhelming. We can feel very overwhelmed really quickly and we actually create an unhealthy energy exchange between ourselves and the other people that don’t have boundaries with.
The expectation from their perspective on an energetic level, is to pull, draw or receive energy, but, without giving anything in return.
Boundaries not only help us, they actually help other people too.
When we don’t have boundaries and we take on other people’s stuff – it’s this stuff, it’s for them to deal with, for them to navigate through, for them to resolve, for them to understand and figure out. Not for us! However, if we are taking it on and really trying to help or assist them with it, we are doing their work for them. All that leads to down the line is feelings of resentment and feelings of being unappreciated.
Energy boundaries are so important.
When we start looking at boundaries we can look at it from various perspectives or levels. In each of these perspectives, you need to go back one step and look at:
- What are your values?
- What is important to you?
- What is okay for you?
- What is not okay for you?
If you go back and watch part two of this series which is around self-care, an element of that comes into this as well. When you understand your own energy and you know what practices and things in your space and in your environment, lift your energy and nurture you, boundaries will help you to ensure that actually happens.
We all have possessions. We have things that we own. We need to decide what our boundaries around these are.
- What is okay for other people to do with our possessions?
- What is okay for you in terms of your material possessions?
- Is it okay for people to take them and never return them?
- Or do you expect them to come back?
- And if you expect that how do you set up boundaries to ensure that happens?
Physical boundaries are connected to your personal space.
- How much personal space to you need?
- Is it okay for someone to be right next to you in your personal space or is it better for them to be a little bit away?
- How much personal space do you require in terms of the alone time just by yourself?
- Do you need to communicate, collaborate and be more connected with people?
Looking at your needs in terms of your personal space and then understanding how you can enforce boundaries around that is really important.
If you have a person that’s consistently invading your very personal space and your energy is getting all haywire as a result of that you need to be able to see stand-up and let them know what is going on for you, what you need, what you are happy to do and not to do.
Mental Boundaries are connected with your thoughts, your values and your opinions.
- When somebody has an opinion about something that’s in conflict to yours how do you handle this?
- What is okay for you?
- What is not okay for you?
- Are you aware of thoughts?
- What thoughts are ok in your space and what are not?
- What thoughts of self-nurturing
- Which ones of self-destroying?
You need to be very conscious about how you set up boundaries to ensure that you keep the thoughts that are in alignment with you, and nourishing for you. Your values are so important. Take the time to write them down. Become aware of your values. In the decision you are making in business, in your personal life, in your relationships, you need to ensure that you are checking back into those values and making sure that they are ticked yes.
If somebody, something, a job, a client or even a space that you are going to using doesn’t match with those values, how are you going to set up boundaries to ensure that your values are met?
Emotional boundaries are about being in tune with our feelings, our emotions and our needs in terms of yourself and other people.
- What are you responsible for?
- What are they responsible for?
People that are in the soulful business arena, are very often empathic, which means that they connect, feel into and can sense other people’s emotions and feelings.
Having emotional boundaries and practices where you are be able to tap into clients but not to take on their emotional baggage or their emotional stuff is essential.
You need to be able to clear other people’s energy from your space and hold your boundaries.
If you haven’t taken the time to know what is okay and what is not okay for you, you are opening the doorway for unhealthy energy to slip into your space.
In this area we are looking at the actual comfort levels around what you will and will not do in terms of sexual activity.
What is comfortable for you in terms of the level of touch or activity and what is not?
Often in relationships people do not hold their boundaries because they trying to please someone, or trying to make someone else happy.
As you learn to work more with energy, understand your own energy and your own needs and holding strong onto what’s important to you and what nourishes you, the more you will find that better partner relationships and more fulfilling relationships will come into your life.
Your spiritual boundaries relate to your connection with spirit, conversations around spirituality and spiritual practices.
- What feels comfortable you?
- What are your boundaries around this?
- What do you feel comfortable talking about?
- What does not feel comfortable to you?
Clarity around those boundaries will assist you greatly in this area.
Setting your Boundaries
As soon as you set boundaries you will find that they will be tested.
Here, you need to create awareness and become conscious of who pushes your buttons and why they are being pushed and what feeling, emotions and energy arises for you when this happens.
Your reaction to people challenging your boundaries is really important in understanding what’s going on for you on an energetic level. If you don’t take the time to understand this, people will continue to press and push your boundaries. This will continue until you face the challenge of looking within yourself and being more aware of what’s going on, and what do you need to shift and change to be able to uphold your boundaries.
Where to start?
The starting point is knowing what your boundaries are and your reasoning or the energy behind why you have those boundaries. If you don’t start here it will be challenging to uphold them. Start noticing where do your needs come. By learning to put your needs at the forefront it will be much easier for you to uphold your boundaries. Remember that this is not about being selfish, it’s about understanding that when you’re needs are met and when you have what you need on energetically level you’re more able to serve other people.
If you are consistently putting other people’s needs before yourself, you’re going to consistently lower your boundaries, or relax them to make space for other people. Long term you will start to notice in your energy levels and in your energy field that you will be negatively affected.
Upholding your Boundaries
You uphold your boundaries by understanding and knowing what your rights are. Believing in your right to have rights. Creating boundaries that are there to uphold your well-being and to keep you protected.
Not everyone on this planet is aware and conscious and many people are running old programming. Their actions, deeds and things that come out of them might not be the healthiest and most serving things
Especially if you work with energy, it is important for you to know what is okay for you and what is not.
Have boundaries that create the space for you to really flourish and to thrive.
Over the coming weeks
Take some time over the coming weeks to look at each of the different boundaries.
- Do some investigation into how much thought you have given to each of these areas.
- What is it that you want?
- What is it that will serve you the best in order that you may serve others?
- Take some time to check into your values.
- Decide what you need your boundaries to be in each of the areas.
- Decide how you are going to uphold your boundaries.
By standing firm in your truth. By standing solid in your own divine power, you will be able to uphold your boundaries with ease, grace and flow.
What results from doing this is really magical?
Thank you for your time today gorgeous people.
My name is Lynda Gaiao.
Part four of this four-part series will continue to look into energy practices, that are here to uplift, nurture, rejuvenate and bring abundance into our lives and our soulful businesses.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.